On May 30, my wedding with my lovely wife, Ronk
e, aka Ronkusbaby clocked 30. How time flies indeed. I remember vividly how we met on what was like a blind date in Abeokuta, Ogun State before we married in 1992 and have stuck together.
It’s been a long journey through the twists and turns, thick and thin, with lots of testimonies of God’s blessing for which I am very grateful. Being married for thirty years with no recollection of any time we contemplated breaking up is not something I take for granted or claim any know-how for.
No two marriages are the same. What works for one, may not work for another. How two strangers become friends and live happily together thereafter is a miracle of a kind.
I count myself fortunate for the grace of God that has enabled me to come this far when many marriages have failed, sometimes due to minor issues my wife and I resolved as amicably as possible.
Even when we sharply disagree on issues, as we do once in a while, what has kept us going is that one of us, not necessarily her, knows when not to insist on being the person that should have his or her way. We both know how to control our emotions when a disagreement is getting heated and bring it up later when the atmosphere is right. Over the years, we both know the tolerance level of each other and we do our best not to stretch it.
Clear communication about what you like and what you don’t is very important and both must be willing listeners and avoid doing anything that can cause disharmony. My wife knows how to hear me say I like something, particularly food, in a discussion with her or someone else and it will surface soon at meal time.
Shall two work together except they agree according to Amos 3:3 in the Bible, definitely no. It takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice to make marriage work. There must be more points of agreement than things couples don’t agree on.
Though my wife is from a Muslim background and I was an Anglican Christian, agreeing to be Pentecostal Christians and be faithful to biblical injunctions have greatly united us in many ways. Notwithstanding, we don’t totally agree on some approaches to spiritual issues, but the key principles are enough to sustain us.
Every couple must always remember the marriage vow of “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death”. The good and bad times are meant to be enjoyed and endured by couples. Nothing should diminish the love couples profess with nothing to hide from one another.
The trust element is also critical and every effort must be made not to betray it. Without trust, it’s hard to sustain any marriage. There should also be room for forgiveness and sincere ‘repentance’.
The success of a marriage is not something anyone should brag about. There are times when it just doesn’t work out even with the best of effort. One must just try hard enough and trust God to take control at every stage.
Source: The Nation
